Musical Satirist Gifts

"I call this next piece, 'Turn Off The Lawn Mower Before You Clean It.'"

"I guess we're kind of the Marsalis Family in reverse

This next song aims to halt global warming and bring about an end to famine...sing along if you think it'll help.

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Hurry, she's starting to play in a minor key!"

Orchestras that play hold music.

"Say, that sounds like Cathy Lee Gifford!"

Although he later fired his editors, Wagner was never able to convince the public of his original intentions.

"Continuous piped music! No wonder so many opt for reincarnation."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

Radiator jazz player

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Elevator Music

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Guitar pickin'

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

Rap-scallions

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

'PHWOAR! You should have seen her rear end when she sat on the piano. . . played 'TINK' and 'BOOM' at the same time!'

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

Double Saxophone

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

Edward Elgar.

"Ding" "Dong"

Dr. Phil takes it home.

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.