Music Satire Aficionado Gifts

"I'm not mocking your song—I'm sampling it."

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Would you like to see the markup?"

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

'The Orginial Big Band sound'

Knights of the Round Whatever

"Three years running 'fake news' websites? You're just what we're looking for!"

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

"I'm a huge fan of your work."

John Banville

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

"Thanks a bunch. I'll just run these by our committee and pass them along."

This would be Andy's first and last day as golf instructor at Sunset Oaks Country Club: "Remember, *hic*....Always jerk your head up and swing at the ball as hard as you can."

Jonathan Swift

"He spent the last half hour trying to piratesplain sea shanties to me."

'Nothing much happened in the Middle East today.... Ha! -- Just kidding.'

"Cultural diversity is all very well, but our immigration officers don't have to put up with their bloody harp picking 24 hours a day!"

Next Terrifying Military Threats

"Hurry, she's starting to play in a minor key!"

"The world isn't ready for a book like this. How would you feel about publishing it posthumously?"

"I guess we're kind of the Marsalis Family in reverse

Doomsdayer waves sign saying 'The world isn't going to end, it's just going to suck'.

This is Dr. Sadie. What's your question, caller? How can I tell if my cold is really bronchitis? Stop yer sniveling. In my day, a body would hope it was bronchitis. It gave you a chance to prove your grit! Nothing like a touch of burning pain, wheezing, and crackling in the chest to separate the women from the girls. What kind of doctor are you, again?

'You shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die...'

'Don't say anything!'

The critic as band leader

"Are we locked up with him, or is he locked up with us?"

"It's a slow hit man!"

"Somehow these awards are seeming less special."

"I didn't send for a music teacher."