Sword Swallowing T-Shirts

Have you got any nails? I'm on a diet.

Foo-chung needed to 'hone' his sword-swallowing techniques, if he was to continue his career!

Lady of the bath...

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Warrior Woman

Epic Battles

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

Decapitated coffee.

"But I use all of them!"

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

Pub Kendo.

'That's the new budget team that came on board last week!'

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

Sawrd Fighting

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

King Richard I

Scheduel.

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

Child to another child - 'En garde!'

Swords for Making America Great Again

'They say he wears half-inch armor.'

One of the lesser known joys of being a fencing instructor.

Fencing Lessons

Battle.