Sword Swallowing Admirer T-Shirts

Have you got any nails? I'm on a diet.

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

Warrior Woman

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Stephen Spender.

"Full disclosure—I really need this hug."

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Decapitated coffee.

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"Don’t you think it’s about time you stopped insisting on your uncle Bill being here for Christmas?"

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

'I can't believe this.. biggest fight of my life, and I forget to pack a wallop.'

Airport

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

No Right Turn (monster)

'Bad dog, stop doing the crossword.'

Grim's Fairytales

Pub Kendo.

One book... One book... One book...

Gore Vidal

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

Nikolai Alekseevich Klyuev

Mature poet surrounded by young artists passing mature artist surrounded by young poets.

A portrait comes alive and stabs its artist

"See - that's how he's able to write all those plays."

'That's the new budget team that came on board last week!'

'Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey...'

F. Scott Fitzgerald

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'