Sword Swallowing Admirer T-Shirts

Have you got any nails? I'm on a diet.

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Warrior Woman

"Full disclosure—I really need this hug."

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

Decapitated coffee.

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"Don’t you think it’s about time you stopped insisting on your uncle Bill being here for Christmas?"

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

Airport

'I can't believe this.. biggest fight of my life, and I forget to pack a wallop.'

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

No Right Turn (monster)

Grim's Fairytales

'Bad dog, stop doing the crossword.'

Pub Kendo.

A portrait comes alive and stabs its artist

One book... One book... One book...

"See - that's how he's able to write all those plays."

Nikolai Alekseevich Klyuev

Mature poet surrounded by young artists passing mature artist surrounded by young poets.

'That's the new budget team that came on board last week!'

'Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey...'

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'