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"John, do you know anything about fighting a duel this morning?"

'And that, Sir, is the main thrust of my argument.'

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

Bob switched from foil to epee when he heard that epee had no rules

Decapitated coffee.

Lulav and Etrog Fencing

Fencing with Guns

Zorro as a kid.

The colonel soon regretted insulting the circus sword swallower.

"Why? Because he said I was insensitive, that's why!"

Kingdom not responsible for injuries to its knights.

Actually, only one thing has changed in the sport of fencing since it's creation hundreds of years ago. 'On guard!'

'I believe you want some fencing done, at the bottom of your garden?'

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

Fencing Acupuncture.

'Ready...and.....Rattle!'

No, I'm not mad --- I mean I literally need to vent!

"Have you given any more thought to my idea of using a sword?"

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Warrior Woman

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

Pub Kendo.

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

A portrait comes alive and stabs its artist

'That's the new budget team that came on board last week!'

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

Scheduel.

Swords for Making America Great Again