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"Okay, I think I've got the general thrust"

"I'm guessing his weak points are distance and footwork."

'Ever try beating a ploughshare into a sword?'

'The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with!'

Fencing Lessons

Fencing class 2nd floor.

'Can you teach us a move that can't be parried?'

I deem thee sir...oops!

'ON GUARD!' 'Touche.'

Duel to the Death...

"Hide all the chopsticks."

'A little higher, please.'

'Toupee!'

'This certainly beats lunch at the desk.'

The confident duelist.

"Before we start, what is your blood group?"

"Remember all those distance and footwork drills I made you do? Well, now would be a good time to concentrate on keeping your distance."

'When I lance a boil, I lance a boil.'

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

"Why do you always have to spoil our fun, mom?"

"He never was one for living dangerously!"

Fun at the Office: Touché Break.

Pub Kendo.

"There's no way that foil is regulation!"

"There can be only one."

Scheduel.

Swords for Making America Great Again

Three Musketeers at a barbecue

Warrior Woman

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

Decapitated coffee.

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"