Sword Slasher Pillows

One of the lesser known joys of being a fencing instructor.

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

Warrior Woman

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Giant slug attacks a city

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Epic Battles

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

Do it! Go into the woods alone!...

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

How Swordfish Are Born

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

The Horror Film Director.

Pub Kendo.

'After A Knights Hard Day'

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

Sawrd Fighting

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

'It's only a slug Norman.'

Scheduel.

I'm not fighting you until you show me your mask.

Child to another child - 'En garde!'

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

"This coffee seems a little staler every morning, Edwina!"

Crazy Ed's Warehouse - body in freezer - "Nobody beats our prices and gets away with it."

Fencing Lessons

Lord Chandler's personal problems had spread to the battlefield.

'I'm letting it lie fallow this year.'

Battle.

Artist Uses Fencing Skills To Create Abstract Pieces

The Lady of the Lake stabs a duck.