Swing Set Breaker T-Shirts

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

Man running in a hamster wheel

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

Sisyphus Sawyer

Swing without a tree

"You're going to create the same problems on the way down as you created on the way up."

"These are wonderful, precious years before he learns that he's benefitting from institutional racism."

'You take that back! My mom is too a virgin.'

"Gracie, can you make me soar?"

'I hate to see you work during your lunch hour, so do me a favor and close your door.'

"How does this make you feel?"

"Edward, if you don't mind, this is very serious."

'Dad, I didn't know you were into sculpture.'

Swings Doctor

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow...

"You know kids love boundaries, Dad."

Mood Swings.

Pit crew fix a tire swing

'the tire and swinging vine was for the children; the 800 pounds of bananas were when mother visited us last week.'

Must be spring break.

"Listen to me, John. Tell them this is our final offer."

Chicken Fight

'Hey Frank! I've told you before that there is no cross checking in chess.'

"So, I hear you swing both ways."

This man makes his living as a brain surgeon. Scary, isn't it?

'...And that's why, in table tennis. We don't jump the net.'

“I keep doing the same thing over and over, but keep getting the same results.”

"Poor Zachary. A meteorite squashed his swing set."

'I used to work there, but I got tired of the same old run-around.'

Elephant too heavy for the swing

Do you believe there's a heaven? You mean like spring break in Mazatlan? No, after you die. Do you go to an amazing place where everything is perfect? An incredibly peaceful setting, perfect weather, blue skies and warm waters, beautiful women

"Swinging into action is the easy part. It's the waiting that gets you."

"The First Robin of Spring Break"

"Wayne couldn't stop himself from blushing anytime he broke his G-string."

Mark and John have a wet t-shirt contest.