Swing Set Breaker Gifts

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

Man running in a hamster wheel

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

Sisyphus Sawyer

Swing without a tree

"These are wonderful, precious years before he learns that he's benefitting from institutional racism."

'You take that back! My mom is too a virgin.'

"You're going to create the same problems on the way down as you created on the way up."

"Gracie, can you make me soar?"

'I hate to see you work during your lunch hour, so do me a favor and close your door.'

"How does this make you feel?"

"Edward, if you don't mind, this is very serious."

'Dad, I didn't know you were into sculpture.'

Mood Swings.

Pit crew fix a tire swing

Swings Doctor

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow...

'the tire and swinging vine was for the children; the 800 pounds of bananas were when mother visited us last week.'

"You know kids love boundaries, Dad."

"Listen to me, John. Tell them this is our final offer."

This man makes his living as a brain surgeon. Scary, isn't it?

"So, I hear you swing both ways."

Chicken Fight

'Hey Frank! I've told you before that there is no cross checking in chess.'

'...And that's why, in table tennis. We don't jump the net.'

“I keep doing the same thing over and over, but keep getting the same results.”

Elephant too heavy for the swing

'I used to work there, but I got tired of the same old run-around.'

"Poor Zachary. A meteorite squashed his swing set."

"The First Robin of Spring Break"

"Swinging into action is the easy part. It's the waiting that gets you."

"Someday, you may thank me for breaking what was becoming, in this family, a viscous cycle of inheritance!"

Mark and John have a wet t-shirt contest.

"Baldo, do you want to house-sit for your Tia Zulema? She's leaving town 'til Friday?"