Swing Sensei Pillows

'Not that slowly back...'

golf

Be the ball.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

he tries to fly all the time but actually never gets airborne

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

Swinging

"This never happened."

'Maybe the batteries are dead.'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

Golf lessons

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

Swing

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

'Do you have any golf balls that are not attracted to water, sand or trees?'

'I'm sure I could lie on my back waving my feet in the air if I could play the saxophone.'

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

Mother pushes twins on a double-decker swing.

"Maybe you need some kind of app to make it work."

'Where's my horse?'

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

Automatic swing machine

A bride and a groom on a swing

Stone henge swing.

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

'Why Walter!! Are you getting fresh?!!'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'