Swing Sensei T-Shirts

'Not that slowly back...'

golf

Be the ball.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

he tries to fly all the time but actually never gets airborne

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

"This never happened."

Swinging

'Maybe the batteries are dead.'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

Golf lessons

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

Swing

'Do you have any golf balls that are not attracted to water, sand or trees?'

'I'm sure I could lie on my back waving my feet in the air if I could play the saxophone.'

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

Mother pushes twins on a double-decker swing.

'Where's my horse?'

"Maybe you need some kind of app to make it work."

A bride and a groom on a swing

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

Automatic swing machine

Stone henge swing.

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

'I'd do better if I knew all the words you know!'

Chris felt that, with diligence, he could teach Jack to hit a 1-iron by 11 months.

'Let's give it a whirl. Swing is back!'

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

'Why Walter!! Are you getting fresh?!!'