Swim Squad Superstar Gifts

'Listen Jimmy, as a member of the School Swimming Squad, you're not taking your training seriously enough!'

Jumping cheerleaders

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'The trick is to make it look as easy as possible while, underneath, you're paddling like hell.'

"It took a lot of hard work to get here, but it was all worth it in the end."

“I’ve always wanted to learn to swim, but it’s never been more than thirty minutes since my last meal.”

"I'm here to gets the gold"

Cheerleaders

"Look, I'm the bobblehead of this team."

"It's nice to see John finally relaxing."

"So you used to be in a darts team?"

How swimmers look and feel after a long swim.

'Kid, go out there and play like you're worth 29 million plus signing bonus, buyouts, and endorsement deals. '

The synchronized shower event.

'Needless to say, discus-thrower Bill Nordlander went to college on a full athletic scholarship.'

Sports Agency. In my work as a sports agent, I told this athlete she needs to improve if she wants to be well-known. Ironically, in diving you become famous by not making a splash! I got this marathon competitor a sponsorship so he can focus on training. He's going to take the money and run! This sprinter will earn a bonus if he sets a record. Oh, going after some fast money! And I made this guy agree to give me an extra slice of his pay if I negotiated a great contract for him which I di

The family tradition lives on: I won the Long Jump and the Triple Jump events...

Thank you for not drowning.

'Not that sort of pool party.'

'I think our fans are excited for us. It just doesn't seem like it because of doing 'The Wave' they do 'The Still Water'.'

"The swim team is really feeling those school budget cuts."

'Amazing! 140 decibels as he hits the surface! That puts him easily into first!'

Jello in the diving pool.

Cartoon showing a man swimming, when another swimmer has dived, bounced off his stomach and smashed through the ceiling.

NO skinny dipping

Never swim on a full stomach...

A Swimmer Doing Breastroke

'Watch your language... here comes a monkfish.'

30th Parallel.

'Make sure you get unleaded...'

'That's still blurry This might be a good time to show you your bill.'

Swimmer with large feet.

'You're disqualified.'

'Did your kid enjoy his swimming lessons?'