Swim Squad Gifts

'Watch your language... here comes a monkfish.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

'It's too early to say but my lad may be good enough to swim professionally.'

Swimming Prankster

'The trick is to make it look as easy as possible while, underneath, you're paddling like hell.'

'It's up to you, either synch or swim.'

'...you'd better get yourself a good lawyer!'

Synchronized Diving: 10 & under division.

Swimming with dolphins./Swimming with a cow.

"I'm here to gets the gold"

Synchronized Swim Team - Shark in the Water.

Swim meet - sharks vs. humans

The Tortoise and the Herring. Triathlon. I always knew that I'd pass him after the swimming portion of the race.

As the years passed, Grandpa became more absent minded...

"It's nice to see John finally relaxing."

Artist Misses the Point

Dog swim teams: 'Give me 10 more laps!'

"I heard you may be looking for an assistant in cell growth!"

'I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?'

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

"Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney."

"Hey buddy move over! This is the fast lane!"

"The secret to my success is my ability to always land on my feet."

"Lets stop arguing about the pool. We'll divide it in half and stay on our half."

'For heavens sake Gordon, just get in, you're embarrassing us.'

Take-A-Break

Jello in the diving pool.

Kids! I hope you're not playing with my new surfboard again...

"He's offered to show me the breast stroke - tonight in his water bed!"

"Am I going to be cold when I get out?"

Lifeguard - Please Take A Number.

'Listen Jimmy, as a member of the School Swimming Squad, you're not taking your training seriously enough!'

'Hester had done the triple dozens of times in his mind. Now, however...'