Sweet Talker Gifts

'Did you bring chocolates? They put him in a good mood.'

You certainly throw around a lot of sweet nothings. What can I say? The price is right!

'Expensive wine, long-stem roses, imported candies...wasn't our argument about MY spending habits?'

"You look so beautiful. Twinkling in the moonlight."

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"You say the nicest things. . . and perfectly sober as well."

'Did anyone ever tell you that you look lovely under the glow of these energy saver lights?'

"You've got tough questions and you want answers. Or do you really want. . . Candy?!!"

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

Bryan Ferry

Dialogue

What should we do this fine Sunday? I have an idea. Let's spend the day staring at each other and using pet names. Ahem. You affection is making us ill! They're upset, Monkey Bear. You're so handsome. We're trying to eat!

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

Macho talk from down in accounting.

'May I have the key to your heart?'

I'll admit I haven't been waiting all my life to meet you, but I have waited through a rough pencil sketch, the inking process and Photoshop lettering. Surely that's worth something! !?!

'Thanks for the order, Mr Barnes and I want you to think of me as your friend.'

'Correct me if I'm wrong.' (Everyone holds their hand up).

Candy Corn Dracula

"So, do you walk the talk? Replete the tweet? Sext the text?"

Cake Writer's Block

"So you're saying if I wasn't so smart, I'd have more friends?"

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

The Language of Love

"So have you been watching Bridgerton?"

Giant Birthday Cake

'Is that you, Take That?'

You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that? Many times. How would you like to be the "after" image in my new ad touting the health benefits of our new nonfat kale macchiato. Let me guess: You'd also like an old picture of me where I was weak and puny, so you can claim that's the "before" picture. Don't worry, I've got that part covered. Something about you looked different today, Rudy. Would you like fries with that observation?

'I've given up on looking for the bluebird of happiness. . . I'd settle for the chicken of contentment!'

That's a shame. What's a shame? Did I do something wrong, officer? TSA. Yes, you did. You let your boyfriend turn you down. So what if he's 15,000 miles away in Russia? If I were your man, I'd never let that stop me. I would fly to the ends of the earth for you. This routing ever work for you? Good lord this routine must work for you.

'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

Doomed Food Group

'For the last time: no, you could not interest me in a cold fusion experiment!'

'You're lucky she didn't press charges. Never touch a woman eating ice cream.'

"Who let the dog get into the chocolate?"