Smart Talker Gifts

"So you're saying if I wasn't so smart, I'd have more friends?"

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

Moo Out Loud

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

Bryan Ferry

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

WTF?

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

What should we do this fine Sunday? I have an idea. Let's spend the day staring at each other and using pet names. Ahem. You affection is making us ill! They're upset, Monkey Bear. You're so handsome. We're trying to eat!

"Yes, I am interested in taking a fresh look at my holdings."

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

Macho talk from down in accounting.

'May I have the key to your heart?'

I'll admit I haven't been waiting all my life to meet you, but I have waited through a rough pencil sketch, the inking process and Photoshop lettering. Surely that's worth something! !?!

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

"So, do you walk the talk? Replete the tweet? Sext the text?"

The Before-You-Know It-It'll-Be-Obsolete Computer Company

"What a disappointment. When you said your dad was a troll, I thought he'd be living under a bridge."

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.

'Correct me if I'm wrong.' (Everyone holds their hand up).

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

Beware of the Blog.

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

The Language of Love

'Did anyone ever tell you that you look lovely under the glow of these energy saver lights?'

"So have you been watching Bridgerton?"

"I am a control freak."