Smart Talker Pillows

"So you're saying if I wasn't so smart, I'd have more friends?"

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

Moo Out Loud

Bryan Ferry

WTF?

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"Yes, I am interested in taking a fresh look at my holdings."

Macho talk from down in accounting.

'May I have the key to your heart?'

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

"What a disappointment. When you said your dad was a troll, I thought he'd be living under a bridge."

'Correct me if I'm wrong.' (Everyone holds their hand up).

The Before-You-Know It-It'll-Be-Obsolete Computer Company

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

"So have you been watching Bridgerton?"

'Did anyone ever tell you that you look lovely under the glow of these energy saver lights?'

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

The Language of Love

"I am a control freak."

'This new water cooler streamlines the gossip process - we get all the numbers and none of the fluff. The R.O.I. just sky rocketed!'