Smooth Talker Pillows

"We're interested in words, not deeds."

"I can't give you a rise, but your speech was so convincing I'm transferring you to our sales department."

'I know we only met 30 second again...'

'It's the old story with Bob and me - the eternal hexagon.'

'May I have the key to your heart?'

'I couldn't help notice, Miss, we seem to be going to the same place.'

Schmoozing 101

"How much do you want to take out? How much do you weigh?"

"If it's fresh air you want, my flat's air-conditioned..."

'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

You look so good you could be on television...in fact you're already blurred.

"Did you get her number?" "Sure did. And she's just my type." "What type is that?" "Available."

'My son, the telemarketer...'

"So, do you walk the talk? Replete the tweet? Sext the text?"

"Shhhh. Let me do the talking."

The Language of Love

"Well, I struck out that time. She says she doesn't drink."

"Let's hope his sale pitches are better than his passes."

"You can try all you want, but being smooth is just something you're born with."

"Ok, Mr. Koller, I guess your mind is set on our sport model. You also wanted to look into our silver and gold kits. Let me bring over my specialist."

"I prefer to think of it as travel size."

'Well, I was wrong - Sometimes it DOES hurt to ask.'

'Correct me if I'm wrong.' (Everyone holds their hand up).

"The male in me finds you attractive."

'This is a recording???'

'For the last time: no, you could not interest me in a cold fusion experiment!'

"Wow, you have a lot of car magazines. I don't know why people think cars are cool. They're soooo 19th century. Are all of these yours?"

'Your face isn't familiar, but your line is.'

"Sure you remember me. I'm the guy who collapsed here last night... right in front of your... and had to be rushed to the hospital."

You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that? Many times. How would you like to be the "after" image in my new ad touting the health benefits of our new nonfat kale macchiato. Let me guess: You'd also like an old picture of me where I was weak and puny, so you can claim that's the "before" picture. Don't worry, I've got that part covered. Something about you looked different today, Rudy. Would you like fries with that observation?

You're a smooth talker, but you have no lips. Sadly, you have the gift of gab, but not the gift of gob. Bar.

I'll admit I haven't been waiting all my life to meet you, but I have waited through a rough pencil sketch, the inking process and Photoshop lettering. Surely that's worth something! !?!

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

Bryan Ferry

"Ah – the good, the bad, and the god-awful."