Smooth Talker Appreciator Pillows

J. Ludlow: Soldier, Statesman, Author, Windbag.

Bryan Ferry

'May I have the key to your heart?'

'Thanks for the order, Mr Barnes and I want you to think of me as your friend.'

'Correct me if I'm wrong.' (Everyone holds their hand up).

North Pole.

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

The Language of Love

'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

Elderly couple

"Give it to me straight, Doc – my mother’s driving you nuts, right?"

"Have you got it in beige?"

'For the last time: no, you could not interest me in a cold fusion experiment!'

"Would you ask the chef to hurry? We're running out of conversation."

"I prefer to think of it as travel size."

"Let's hope his sale pitches are better than his passes."

"You can try all you want, but being smooth is just something you're born with."

"Since when do you obey traffic signs, Billy?!"

"Compliments of the gentleman who obviously has no issues with rejection."

Detox meets Botox.

Seductive lines that just don't cut it.

"Sure you remember me. I'm the guy who collapsed here last night... right in front of your... and had to be rushed to the hospital."

Schmoozing 101

"You're looking good today. Is that a new dress? By the way, I'm sure this is a mistake...maybe you can raise it to..."

"I don't think delivering food is for me. It's always cold by the time I get there."

'What song is it you want to hear!'

"How much do you want to take out? How much do you weigh?"

"Yes, but am I the biggest dick you've ever met?"

'Your face isn't familiar, but your line is.'

"Ah – the good, the bad, and the god-awful."