Sweet Safety Advocate Pillows

"Trick or treat, and here's a list of my known food allergies."

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

Man using to much bug spray

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

Reasonableman

"Careful."

"Forget about flowers, trust me, bring her honey: It's a sure way to one's heart..."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'In my day, we didn't concern ourselves with wimpy notions of workplace ergonomics.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

"Here comes the super-visor."

Boozing and Cruising

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'