Sweepstakes Pillows

Man reading letter, 'You may already be a winner' about to step on rake.

It says "You may already be a winner --- But don't burn any bridges".

'Do you really think the possibility you may have won 10 million dollars in some sweepstakes is the best life insurance you should have?'

"What are the odds?! First he wins the lottery and then he gets eaten by an alligator!"

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

The First Annual Game Show Week.

Relay runners passing pictures to each other.

'Rhea of the Year.'

Culture, Media and Sport Podium.

'There goes Finley...turning pro.'

Hit a duck, win a prize.

"As one of the best forwarders in the world you can sign any advertising contract you want, but..."

'He's expecting a letter from the dog biscuits sweepstakes.'

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

Freeways in the Supermarket

"I need one of them and one of them..."

'We did it, Dad! We won the heaviest frog award!'

'Just follow my voice to the checkout stand.'

Road signs point to various things to buy including "women's wear", "office supplies" and "household appliances".

"Of course, He buzzes in first every turn. We have to follow Him!"

I must say, that's the most pathetic bar promotion I've ever seen. Tuesdays! Wet Socks Contest!

Artistic Street Sweeper

Contest time. Mort and Sadie, our ornery octogenarians, have decided to rename Rudy's generation. Mort favors Generation I - for impatient. Sadie prefers Generation V - for virtual. Or vapid! What do you think? Please send your own ideas to asksadieshow@gmail.com. C'mon people, get thinkin'!

'Who wants to see second prize in the sales contest?'

'Could you help me? My parents are lost.'

No soliciting - unless you're one of those sweepstakes

"I'm on Fourth Street, in an unmarked car." "Not anymore."

'You are the unwisest man...goodbye.'

'You're excited about winning a traveling toothbrush kit in a sweepstakes after spending $300 on postage and entering 1,500 contests?'

'There's nothing wrong with entering magazine sweepstakes - but have you folks considered any other retirement plans?'

'1000 pies to eat before you die.'

Redneck Wet T-shirt Contest

Angel Wins Publisher's Clearing House

"Hey, Golfers! When approaching the tee, always remember to keep that sponsorship logo facing the camera. . ."

We're stuck here for the entire summer. It's loserville! Let's start "the most boring town" contest. I bet there's one already on the web. Darn! Here's a "top ten tedious towns" list. We're not on it. West Fester is so boring, it's not even the most boring.