Sweepstakes Dreamers Pillows

"I've just been notified by Publisher's Clearing House that I may have already won ten million dollars, but in case I haven't I need money to fix my driveway."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Why do you hate the media?

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"Well, it's been nice. And obviously the £10 million win hasn't change you. . . . A mug of tea an' a couple garibaldies - as tight as ever!"

'I think it's the best thing you've ever done!'

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

'I'm sorry, Bob, it wasn't you who won the mega-pool. It was Helen in accounting.' (to man mooning boss).

Highlights for Adults

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

"The pay for field testing our new lures isn't much, but you get to keep all the fish you catch."

"FREEDOM!!!"

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

SMALL BUSINESS LOANS, 'Your business plan seems to depend on winning a lot of state lotteries....'

Research -Development - Wishful Thinking

"Baldo, check it out...it's advice for people who've won the lottery."

Your Winning Lottery Numbers Told: 'If they are really what you say - how come you can only afford a tent?'

'He's expecting a letter from the dog biscuits sweepstakes.'

"Yeah, you were Tolkein in your sleep. . ."

'Ordinarily I wouldn't do anything like that, Mr. Hubbard, but I just hit $2 million in the lottery!'

'Of course, it's marvellous news! Absolutely marvellous! My Word! A national lottery winner! Wonderful stroke of luck!'

Do-over

"I'll tell you how I got here - hours and hours of hard visualization."

'IT'S NOT YOU!'

"Why would space aliens save the human race?"

"I know when they are sleeping, I know when they're awake..."

"One of his employees won the lottery!"

"If I had a million dollars, I'd buy myself a new car, a new house for Dad and new clothes for Tia Carmen!"

"The good news is, my son is a potential winner, bad news, I'm still buying his lottery tickets."

'Great, a 'Powerball ticket', I was hoping for something more like an olive branch...'