Swearing Enthusiast Pillows

'He's passionate about swearing.'

Sweary Chef - A bad tempered chef swears at the fish he is about to prepare and the fish swears back.

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

Pet Cemetery.

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

"Have you seen that sweater that you crocheted for me?"

'Stop whispering in my ear, it tickles!'

Christmas sweater alternatives

'What a bunch of control freaks!'

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

"I'm never ready for sweater weather."

"Extreme? Maybe. But I have the best behaved school in the district."

I will not waste chalk kid...

The wetsuit preferred by 9 out of 10 executive windsurfers.

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

"Finally...it's here! Only the best $20 I've ever spent!"

Ugly Holiday Sweaters

"Why can't you just wear a doggie sweater?"

'Dad's old school teacher was really strict. He still has to go back every night, to finish his detention!'

"It was a crime of fashion."

"Arr! This isn't the map to the treasure, it's the map to me winter sweaters."

"I can never remember whether children are to be seen and not heard or the other way around."

Funny how moms know when you're going to do something naughty at the exact time you're doing it.

"Jim, I was asking for a simple explanation, not exclamation."

My tail's cold.

'Sometimes I think I spoil you Tiddles!'

Your brother's just teasing you, dear - I'm sure he didn't lick every one of them.

'You think you can purr your way out of anything, don't you?'

Gym. I'm not sweating --- My muscles are crying!

'He doesn't get the jokes - he just laughs at the F-words.'

'Hey Goldie, the house is on fire!' 'Wow, I just found out the world is round!' 'I hear they're gonna make gloves out of you.'

"The cat's sleeping." "She's so comfy." "If I move I'll wake her up." "The phone is ringing... They'll call back later." "I'm hungry... But it'll pass." "Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

'Abandon Sheep.'

"After all the effort we went through to get you a piano, you'd better practice every day!"

'Fridge magnet' t-shirt.