Swap Savvy Pillows

'Hey, dad! Look what I got in trade for your golf clubs!'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'My interpretation is that it deals with the artist's utter frustration over the scarcity of remaining, reasonable equity values.'

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

'There. See? Your buddy is OK. Now show us our guy before we make the swap.'

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

"I'm Bobby. If you like the lemonade, perhaps you'd like to invest in the 'Jimmy's Lemonade' franchise, listed in NASDAQ..."

Man leaving 'Wall St, closed-end mutual funds' building with hand full of money.

August is corporate earnings restatement season.

"Do you know that we saved a ton of money on legal fees by being more ethical?"

'In a cost-saving move, I've replaced your cubicle with a back pack.'

'From here I can monitor world stocks, or attend overseas teleconferences, unfortunately I can't get out though because the door's stuck.'

Money down the drain.

'They ought to change the name of this deli to The Cramer - they get it wrong 50 of the time.'

"Sometimes I don't think you're listening to me!"

"Have you heard something that the rest of us don't know about?"

'I'd add 'UK' to your name and do it in big red letters...that'll be £15,000.'

The first unfriendly takeover

'Sir, there's a taxpayer who knows his rights, to see you.'

'We can still rise to the occasion but, in light of bad press, just not in the company-owned plane.'

CEO, 'The buck stops here & becomes part of my next bonus'.

Red Letter Days - Payment of Dividends

'If you only knew what your money costs us!'

Charging to a 10,000 Dow?

"Innovation requires curiosity...and that's why I've hired..."

'I hope this reform really hurts!!'

Man about man: 'John here sells mutual funds and worry beads.'

"I tend to get more done when I leave self-loathing off the to-do list."

'I'm trading futures in green sheets.'

Build a better mousetrap and the IRS will beat a path to your door.

Wall St. Glitterati

'I'll swap you my Wimbledon freebies for your Anodised pan set!'

"I suppose I'll be the one to mention the elephant in the room."