Swap Enthusiast Pillows

'I'll swap you my Wimbledon freebies for your Anodised pan set!'

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

Man feeding his computer money.

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

US dollar rising and falling.

The Robotics Department. It says here that these guys completely replace all the cells in their bodies every seven years! Wow! What a slow upgrade cycle! If we don't replace all our parts every six months we become obsolete! It makes you wonder why they're in charge! Yeah, like they expect us to remember thousands of gigabytes of data while they forget their passwords! (Published originally on April 19, 2006)

"Do you want the last piece, or can I have it?"

"Secondhand books, reheated coffee"

Garage Sale (sign originally read 'Garbage' sale).

The Before-You-Know It-It'll-Be-Obsolete Computer Company

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

After the upgrade, crashes were far less frequent and seldom fatal.

'Do you think we can afford better toilets?'...

'When we converted the pub into a house, we decided to keep some of the original features.'

'Hey, dad! Look what I got in trade for your golf clubs!'

Samosas

"They've already had two upgrades while we've been standing in line."

'The boss seems to think you have an unhealthy obsession with upgrading your computer. You're to check into rehab on Monday.'

Only used once

Coffee. Espresso. Order here. How can you call it "fair trade" coffee if you aren't willing to barter for it?

'My brother is going to stay with a family in France, and a French boy is coming to stay with us. Did you know your parents could exchange you?'

'If anybody else asks me if they can transfer to the England cricket team, they're fired!'

Idiot! I told you there'd be a catch to buying a tank on eBay

"Wherever he is, I know he'll be upgraded."

"I'll trade you my pink pills for these blue ones....what do you say?"

Man throwing out his outdated TV set.

MUM Look what I swapped your mobile for

We're a host family for Joey's exchange program.

'Bartering for pre-screening ads isn't a bad idea, but what are we going to do with all these pigs?'

"You're in the wrong queue, sir. . . the 'Air-of-entitlement, upgrade-demands' counter, is over there."

"Sorry. Cash only."

"That's the problem with social media. Once you let it go, it's hard to take back."

Pizza island.

Before-You-Know-It-It'll-Be-Obsolete Communications.