Swamp Sage Pillows

"Becoming the frog king doesn't mean as much now that everyone else is extinct."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

Saguaro Cacti.

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

"Read me back the minutes from the last dip."

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

'About that blood pressure...stop taking things with a grain of salt.'

'Was this eye of newt locally sourced?'

"I'm 92 years old, Larry ... why in the heck would I plant perennials?!"

Examine stored vegetables and throw out those which show signs of rotting.

"It seems like all we talk about anymore is the weather."

The Senior Citizen Surfer

"The real money is in franchising."

'This is where my dad goes to seed.'

'Oh what's the use? You don't know the course.'

'No, sorry, money is the root of all evil!'

" guess we can relax. They say they're Zulu Surfer Dudes."

"Great waves to day, dude!"

The Deli Lama - Sandwich shop.

"I don't think you'll still be that 'Zen' when I tell you someone's nicked your cheese and pickle sandwich from the fridge."

Country & High Brow.

'Stop! Listen to me! Size matters!!'

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'Now you have that invisible fence you've been wanting.'

Please Seat Yourself

'Not since that one tree got a restraining order.'