Sustainable Laugh Seeker Pillows

"To be environmentally responsible I'm recycling my sister's old book reports."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Bad fake tan day.

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"That'll be five bucks."

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

"What did Jesus order?"

Wet Cement. Always the joker, aren't you, Ernie?

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"Projectile hairballing."

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

Drunk Barber

"Hey! Get back here!"

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

Football heads...

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

Bald Man Overcomb

"Baxter, I've decided to take you off crisis management."

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

Ask Sadie

Comedy Store - Canned Laughter delivery.

'I don't understand. Why do you want to have your arms extended?'