Sustainable Chefs Gifts

The Velvet Mesquite

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

Olive Oil

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.

'We like to keep our supply chain short.'

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

"It's dangerous to eat pangolins, but..."

"Would you care to see a YouTube of your chicken when it was free ranging?"

All our servers are locally caught from a sustainable source — the actors' academy across the street.

'Bless this food, and protect us from the pesticides and additives therein.'

"Gavin is a bit conflicted when it comes to barbecuing."

"We learnt about nutrition at school today Mum: Our diet didn't rate well at all..."

"I can't see them replacing fish and chips."

"Is the parchment in the salmon en papillote humanely raised?"

"How about you? Were you 'locally raised'?"

"The food is excellent. Unfortunately, the inaction of politicians forces my husband to civil disobedience."

"I cook everything with an alternative energy source, so it may take a while."

World Meat Consumptiom

'Are you sure this salmon was farm-raised?'

'Never mind insecticides - now they think of us as protein.'

Commie Chef.

"No dolphins where harmed in the preparation of this Tuna sandwich."

'Yes we are observing the swordfish boycott, but we brought in special herring with nose jobs.'

"Here's some baby spinach - from my soil to your plate."

'Is it local?'

Vegan Menu