Survivalist Swinger Gifts

Desert island putting green.

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Desert Island Meals.

'Thank-you God.'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

'Arf! Arf!'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"Yes, I'm alone."

'I'm glad to see you've started building a boat.'

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

'In an effort to make this sales meeting more pleasant, I have taken the liberty of rotating our sales graph counter clockwise a full ninety degrees,'

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

Bob liked a challenge, and the shipwreck gave him something to get his teeth into.

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

Prepper Dog

Santa Claus delivers present to man stranded on desert island.

"No, I'm not building a raft. I'm building a double bed!"

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

Doug reasoned that things could be worse...but just how much worse...he wasn't sure??

Tsunami Evac Route

Island and man

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

"It looks like a pitch for a survival-themed reality show."

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

"Keep in mind that it was put there by the sharks."