Survey Sleuth T-Shirts

Random sample.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

$1: Family Secrets

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

'The dog ate my homework -- I thought maybe you could X-ray him.'

"I need to self isolate. . . but I thought I'd better come in and see you first!"

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'Of students surveyed, 64% prefer English and 32% prefer math. The fact that these numbers do not add up to 100 may help explain why.'

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

"This is where things started getting really weird."

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

Medical Library - Large books with really revolting photographs

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

Newton's Law and Order.

The Modern Godot

Undercover Biophysicists

GM Crops Genie.

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

Schrodingers cat at the vets

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

'She didn't notice it was a wolf and not her grandma?? Had grandma never heard of electrolysis??'

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

Genetically-Modified Foods: Are they safe?

Professor Yomp is working overtime, trying to find a synthetic rhino horn.'