Surreal Humor Fans Pillows

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

"You idiot! What have you bought down the pub this time?"

Camelot

"Hey...is this a dream?"

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

Antlers: A Deer with Ants for Antlers.

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

Fish with a human in a bowl.

'We found you in a cabbage!'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

Tequila Mockingbird

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Honey are you in the mood to fleece a cow tonight

'Guess who's teething?'

'Henry, cut that out.'

"Sorry, coffee is delivered by a union shop and you banned all things union."

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

"Bad news. Our heads aren't lightbulbs."

"What a way to go."

"Relax, he could just be looking for fun."

"Really? You mean you’ve never smoked a joint?"

"It's one of the positive side effects of the new weight-loss drugs."

"I, too, have nurtured a life-long dream of living in a barn and eating mice."

"Oh you kids and that cursed painting in the closet keep me young."

Sure, snoring is a big issue at our house too: you've seen the size of my dad's nose...

"Tell me more about the voices in your neck."

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

"What?!"

Under New Mismanagement

"When you said we were going to push the boat out tonight, I thought you meant we were going to a fancy restaurant!"

Beer Lunch

Make your own bottled water.