Surreal Comedy Fans Pillows

'There's no easy way to tell you this Mr.Lymtop...But i'm afraid you have an inoperable brain tuna.'

101 uses of a dead cat: piano stand.

Pothole to hell.

"The operation was a complete success! Come back in ten days and we'll take the safety pins out."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

"That'll be five bucks."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

Antlers: A Deer with Ants for Antlers.

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

Standard & Poor

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

"Beer? I see you taught Roscoe to fetch?"

Yakety-Yak

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

Honey are you in the mood to fleece a cow tonight

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

'An this good luck charm is to commemorate when our turtle ran away. He's the one who took Jim's pinkie.'

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'