Surreal Humor Aficionados Pillows

Honey are you in the mood to fleece a cow tonight

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Unemotional Support Animal

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

Antlers: A Deer with Ants for Antlers.

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Stairlift around cliff face.

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

Fish with a human in a bowl.

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

Stormy weather

Cheating Death.

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"Very Presidential."

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until next Monday?'

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

Watchdog on Holiday

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

'All right pal, just hand over the nose and nobody gets hurt.'

"So yeah - This is my ideal first date."