Surreal Humor Aficionados Pillows

Honey are you in the mood to fleece a cow tonight

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Tunnel of Love/Lover's Leap.

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

Stairlift around cliff face.

Antlers: A Deer with Ants for Antlers.

Ahh! The sounds of nature! Peep peep. Tweet tweet! Twitter. Croak croak. Sniff sniff. Ribbit. Human nature. Twitter twitter. Tippity tap tap. Cackle cackle! Bleep bleep.

Unemotional Support Animal

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

Fish with a human in a bowl.

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

Stormy weather

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

"Hey, Mom! Check it out! Dad converted his gardo paints to passenger pants!"

Cheating Death.

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"Very Presidential."

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until next Monday?'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?"

It says they're 120 million years old, enjoyed long walks along the tar pit, and loved nibbling on rodents together. Carbon-dating.com