Surreal Humor Admirer Pillows

"We could reshape your nose with conventional surgery, but I'm going to suggest something radical."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Trappist Monk Discord

Antlers: A Deer with Ants for Antlers.

'What does it say, Dad?'

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

HELLth Food Sprouts

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

Honey are you in the mood to fleece a cow tonight

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

"Actually, you do have a racist bone in your body."

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

Clone Factory

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

Pokemon Get Lost

"Inactivists"

"Oh, just the usual here, occupying Wall Street."

"Bad news. Our heads aren't lightbulbs."

"The good news is it's brightening up..."

'I predict that the next big trend will be spontaneous non-existence.'

'In my opinion, hold out for a doctor.'

"As I understand, we stop refugees making dangerous journeys to a safe countey and offer them safe passage to a dangerous one..."

"Really? You mean you’ve never smoked a joint?"

Trump Tariffs

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

'We're really just a mom and pop store...if mom and pop had 600,000 employees.'

Vocabulary Glossary for Libya

Prescription Drugs '96.

Small Government Is Here