Surreal Dining Fan T-Shirts

'Gentlemen, tonight's special is broiled sea urchin, with raspberries, over candy corn, with a goat's milk sauce. I would suggest a wine to recommend with it, had I attended sommelier school in the Twilight Zone.'

"How can you be out of wings?"

'A cheeky red?'

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"What's happened to Quiche?"

"What did Jesus order?"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'We'll start with a menu and a glass of water.'

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"How about a little more coffee?"

"I could have sworn I had three sausages!"

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

'Right you lot, listen. Hands up for soup. . .'

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

Nouveau wine

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

'Sorry about that - Lenny accidentally used jumping beans.'

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

'May I recommend the red wine?'

'Ignore him, he's just angry because you're eating out of his bowl.'

"Ah, Monsieur has made a very expensive choice!"

'Pardon me, M'sieur -- Did you order 'grilled cheese' or 'chilled grease'?'

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."