Surprise Aficionado T-Shirts

"Tuna and chicken bone breakfast smoothie. We were going to surprise you."

'I bet you thought I'd forgotten our anniversary.'

"Yikes! You scared me. Don't ever sneak up on me like that again!"

"I know you didn't order a pizza. We're delivering this on spec."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"Surprise!"

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

"Instead of playing with that boring ball you got me, I updated your computer's operating system, I cleaned your keyboard and ran an antivirus scan."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

'great win, kids! Let's celebrate... My treat!!'

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

"I guess one of the bunnies was a boy after all!"

ESP pizza: You'll get it before you order it or it's free!

"What makes you think this could be a suspect package?"

"This gives me a remarkable idea - tempered only by the realization that Archimedes, discovered the principle of specific gravity 200 years ago."

'A kissogram for the boss? It must be a mistake.'

"So. Are you a mime, a puppeteer, or a ventriloquist?"

"Yes, a surprise engagement. Even my husband-to-be here didn't know..."

"Woah - random!"

Love Potion

"Woof"

Surprise Party

'I'm a simple man really beneath the code words and the black ops and the multitude of fake passports.'

'Oops, actually, this is a cockroach I squashed the other day.'

'And tomorrow we will be having a surprise test.'

"Now, see here, I've been wronged! Some no-good do-nothing rat pack got me sick, and I gotta know who!"

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

"Mr. Dankin, the plumber will see you now."

"Perhaps this will refresh your memory."

'This looks like the work of a surreal killer.'

'Oh, you nut! I thought we agreed we weren't going to make a big fuss over birthdays anymore.'

"Oh, yes—do come in!"