Support Group Survivor Gifts

AA Meeting: Still in denial. Please help.

Workaholics anonymous

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"Our war is against cancer."

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

Support group for sheep.

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'Careful, that's where the boss keeps his ego.'

'I don't want your input until you produce some output.'

Protect Victims of Domestic and Sexual Violence

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

'Something tells me this is going to be a long meeting.'

"For cryin' out loud, Frank, we don't have all day! Cut to the cheese!"

Courage. Love.

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

'It never fails. I offer a tiny bit of constructive criticism, and everybody accuses me of carping!'

"Well, let's quickly put Ken's incredibly incendiary remarks behind us and hopefully continue the discussion in a simmering rage."

Aging Support Group

'Brains...brains...brains...'

'Thanks, Brian, for your thoughtful and constructive proposal. Without further ado, we'll now dive into malicious, envy-based criticism, character assassination and petty bickering!'

'Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until next Monday?'

Unsuccessful board meeting.

Meeting not going well?"

'Your job description is fairly simple: Stay in your cubicle and try not to make things worse.'

"Maybe you do have all the answers but they didn't match any of our questions."

"It drives me mad when people act as though we had nothing to do except write moronic memorandum..."

violence in workplace

"Recent research has yielded some frightening results...It turns out we are a business team held forever on a presentation chart, locked away in a supply closet."

'Don't go too far out on a limb - he'll send you to a branch office.'

"It's hard to manage a staff meeting in a company whose employees all have laser pointers."

Site of new Super Gamblers Anonymous.

"I've called this meeting so I could see all of you squirm."

There's a real disconnect going on here.