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"Oh, and I've started seeing a therapist."

Witch riding a vacuum instead of a broom.

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

"Restless spirit, we don't know who or what you are, but thank you for your amazing Wi-Fi, and for keeping the signal strong."

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

The Death Fires (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).

'Oddly enough you're the third person to buy that today!'

'Hello, I'm your new neighbour. May I borrow a cup of sugar, please?'

'Actually, I was thinking more blood group than personality.'

Hades.

Medium Arthur Felt and his extraordinary ability to channel the shopping lists of the dead.

"He says that it's really not that bad down there."

Doris found the direct approach more effective than voodoo.

The circus would drop in once in a while to give the town a break from its usual blood fetish and other daily drudgery.

Vampires Are Real!

Palmist Alarmist - Uh ooooh!

'The spirit of Miss Tiger Lilly couldn't come this week!'

'Get back, you little fool - you had garlic for lunch!'

Spirit medium, spirit extra large.

Witch dice.

'The devil! Raise the devil! Not Neville!'

'Just ignore your father - he's been dabbling in the occult again....'

Fortune teller sees impending doom

"The vampire can come... I'm prepared!"

Psychic Hotline

"I'm having trouble summoning your deceased wife."

The Paranormal Channel

"I believed all the conspiracy theories except this one."

"Let's dig into that. When did you first start feeling like you lost the will to not live?"

Jim Receives A Note Under The Door And Is Intrigued, Especially Because It's The Closet Door

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"He passed away last week. Can I give him a message?"

"I'm not a fish, but thanks for catching me."

"Somehow I don’t think that’s the sound of a sexy teenage vampire."

"And now, fingernails of Hillary Clinton for robustness."