Superfood Aficionado T-Shirts

"You heard your mother. There's no need to bless the superfoods."

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

Counting ribs

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Benihana style of cooking.

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Kitchen Kapers

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

Important Food Groups

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

The Streets - Night

Party time.

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Burnt or Raw?

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."