Health Food Aficionado T-Shirts

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

"Our menu is divided into three sections... low carb, low sodium and WTF!"

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'They must work. I've never had a repeat customer.'

'Yo, man! Actually, I'm a revolutionary! In protest against society I invested in health food stores... Accidentally, I became stinking rich with that...'

"How come portion control doesn't apply to broccoli?"

Cauliflower rice isn't the same

"And what would the, Truth-in-Advertising tribunal, want to speak to old Rudy about?"

"I'm bacon-barbeque and these are my buddies, cheesy japepeno and chicken pizza. You must be the new kale chip."

Health food shop: 'New for the corporate executive - 'moral fibre' supplements.'

Veggie Fare - Choose Your Own Soya Beans

Fat Free Water.

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

Be Healthy

But is it organic?

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

Queen of Quinoa

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

'Fitness guru.'

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

'What are you eating now?'

Spontaneous Kombucha

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

'Diet considerations.'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."