Healthy Food Enthusiast T-Shirts

"It's tough sticking to a diet when you're surrounded by temptation."

Slow food is healthier. But who has time to cook after work? My 30-minute meals cookbook helps. I've got one for 15-minute mains. I've got one for 12-minute dishes from scratch. Hmm�Exactly when does slow food become fast food? When your last meeting ends at 6 and parents' night starts at 7 sharp.

Gone to my healthy eating class, your dinner is in the vegetable garden.

'Actually, I kind of like peas, but if I eat them, what will mom think of next?'

'What are you eating now?'

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

But is it organic?

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

Queen of Quinoa

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

"I think you put too much healthy food in our smart refrigerator. It's about to spit it all out."

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

Spontaneous Kombucha

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"Only 35% CACAO? I'll have to eat TWICE as much then!"

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

'Diet considerations.'

'Needs more kale.'

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

"How come portion control doesn't apply to broccoli?"

"And what would the, Truth-in-Advertising tribunal, want to speak to old Rudy about?"

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

"Albino broccoli mum!"

The Nihilist Deli.

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."