Health Food Aficionado Mugs

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

"Our menu is divided into three sections... low carb, low sodium and WTF!"

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'They must work. I've never had a repeat customer.'

'Yo, man! Actually, I'm a revolutionary! In protest against society I invested in health food stores... Accidentally, I became stinking rich with that...'

"How come portion control doesn't apply to broccoli?"

Cauliflower rice isn't the same

"And what would the, Truth-in-Advertising tribunal, want to speak to old Rudy about?"

"I'm bacon-barbeque and these are my buddies, cheesy japepeno and chicken pizza. You must be the new kale chip."

Health food shop: 'New for the corporate executive - 'moral fibre' supplements.'

Veggie Fare - Choose Your Own Soya Beans

Fat Free Water.

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

But is it organic?

Be Healthy

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Queen of Quinoa

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

'Fitness guru.'

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

Spontaneous Kombucha

'What are you eating now?'

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

"Only 35% CACAO? I'll have to eat TWICE as much then!"

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'Diet considerations.'