Super Bowl Gifts

"Have you given any thought to what you're going to do with your life after the Super Bowl?"

'...You push the wrong button, and now, instead of our fans enjoying a fireworks display, we've got an international incident on our hands.'

'Is that true? - Did you assign my son homework over SUPERBOWL WEEKEND?'

'For the last time, Jeff, it's called a huddle! Stop saying Group Hug!'

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

Input From The Front Office

"A friendly warning, pal—this is a sports bar."

'Go long!'

'Personal foul. On the defense. Plucking the passer.'

Football player has head instead of ball.

Superbowl halftime at the sewage treatment plant.

Super Bowl Monday

"911? My husband's unresponsive."

Superbowl Hyperbole.

'...There's this big dude on the other side. Nobody look! But, every time we try anything he comes after me. Now, what's that all about?'

'What the . . . no wonder we can't gain any yards. We've been fitted with radio collars...'

Friendly fire!

'Fancy going to the superbowl tonight?'

Watching the football.

Fantasy Football Betting Pool

'You remember...after the Super Bowl last year?'

"I know the Super Bowl is just getting underway, Paul, but did you forget that have a very important date tonight?"

"He finally popped the big question: Would I watch the super bowl with him?"

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

"Ars longa, Super Bowl brevis."

"I hear you quietly rooting for the Patriots back there."

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

"O.K., let's see what all the fuss is about."

Pigs form huddles before taking up starting positions

"The kick is up, and it's, it's, it's too close to call!"

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

"A four-year, $60 million contract and he can't even do a decent end-zone dance!"

"Now isn’t this better than that silly Super Bowl game?"

"Following today's game will be a discussion of the serious economic concerns facing our nation and other thought provoking questions, except on the west coast."

"What would you charge to poor champagne over my head?"