Super Bowl Party Gifts

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

"The Browns are the only team in the NFL to have a malpractice squad."

It's not a party without the Guacamole Kid.

'You're always glued to a ball game. You never want to talk about my butcher's cousin's dog.'

Church for sports worshipers.

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

Punt Cake

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'No standing while room is in motion.'

The trauma of losing.

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

Balancing two espresso martinis

"I am so attracted to you right now."

Shaken not stirred

Beers

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

A man cheers

"All of a dither as per usual!"

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

"Honey, I think that's too many bows."

"Whine and cheezed party."

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

'John is watching the game under protest.'

'Hey, hey, hey!'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

"Goal!"

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

'...You push the wrong button, and now, instead of our fans enjoying a fireworks display, we've got an international incident on our hands.'

Input From The Front Office

Watching the football.

The Female Brain and The Other One