Sunday Service Comics Gifts

"Well, I thought installing a kitchen faucet without having to call the plumber was a pretty good 'praise'."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'No ice.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

A child interrupting family prayers

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

"Freshly ground pepper?"

Happy birthday Dung Beetle

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

"We missed you at church Sunday."