Sunday Funnies Fan Pillows

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Donner and Blitzen are just our stage names."

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

'Next time the pastor asks if you know what his sermon was about, the answer is not about three hours.'

"Oh no! - we forgot to pay the exorcist... we've been repossessed!!"

'It's a shame you lost every last ball in the rough, Ed, but we're glad to have you back.'

"I just love these casual fridays."

'You know when kids are good or bad? Are you with NSA?'

'Sunday in the park'

"Is it working?"

"Years ago, there was only one Santa Claus. Now because of genetic engineering, there can be lots of them."

White Sale

A man opens his curtains to wake up his cats.

'It will be nice to have the words of my sermon there but it could be distracting to run football scores ... '

The End Of The Week Is Coming!

They're short of staff!

"He's got steady hands and was the top recruit from Funzone."

'Speeding? Of course I was speeding! I have to make over a billion deliveries in one night!'

Instantly, tongue knew he was in real trouble and that all his mom's warning, hither to ignore, were true.

"It gets to the point where fans don't respond the way they used to. You need an edge, something more..." Cougar Charlie goes public about his long-standing battle with drugs.

"Awww...come on dad, when are you going to teach me to drive?"

"I don't get it. I've prayed to God to get rich just like the televangelist told me. but nothing happened."

'Naughty or nice? My lawyer will answer that.'

Trapeze Artist comes face to face with the Grim Reaper.

'I'm afraid Mrs. Claus got the last ho-ho-ho!'

'I'll give you Ho! Ho! Ho!

A Partridge in a Pear Tree

'That'll be when they wash their cars!'

What happens under the mistletoe stays under the mistletoe.

"The guy on the next island wants me to float him a loan."

'I hate mistletoe!'

"If you start singing "Santa Baby" I will sleep in the guest room!"