Summer Storyteller Gifts

"I hope you realize that I'm the one who has to write about this stupid vacation next fall."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

"I won't do the 'What I did on my summer vacation' assignment. I consider it a privacy issue."

"Before I begin, everyone must sign a non-disclosure agreement."

Two pages on what I did during summer vacation? - but I didn't take notes!

"Can you believe it? A couple of page-turners, one affair, and, wham - it's Labor Day."

"Wh@_I_Did_During_My_Whole_Summer_Vacation."

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

'My Dad won't let me tell what I did on my summer vacation...he doesn't want anyone to know where he set up his offshore bank accounts.'

'Believe me -- you don't want to know what I did on my summer vacation.'

'Believe me -- you don't want to know what I did on my summer vacation.'

'My summer vacation - or how I drove my parents nuts for ten consecutive weeks!'

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

The one that got away

Fishing with God

Young Picasso at the Beach

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

Man Dreaming Of Australia.

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

“Hey Everyone! It’s the first day of Fall! Okay, you go first!”

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

'A dog ate my homework.'

'the selling of seashells by the seashore was sluggish.'

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

'Son, I told you before: If you circle your prey for too long, you get dizzy...'

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

Scuba: 'You call that a knot, now this is a knot.'