Summer Getaway Planner T-Shirts

"Wait a minute - we don't have a house in the Hamptons."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

Camping.

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

'We've only got a couple of days to finish this box of cereal. Mom'll never let us eat something called energy-packed after school's out.'

"Actually, I hear my boss. I'm on a working vacation."

"Don't blame me, you're the one who suggested an island-hopping holiday!"

Vacation Time: Hither, Thither, Yon.

'Think, Billy - where did you bury Dad?'

Watching Sea Life.

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"It looks brighter over there!"

"I'm making a list of everything we have to do before we go away so we can freak out in some kind of order."

'You know your problem, Harlan? You need to get in touch with your 'inner beach bum'.'

"Make a note, Ellen—one Speedo, size 54."

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

"Every summer I regret having used up all my vacation days in January."

"Check our website sir. It clearly says bed in breakfast."

"Heads-up, the tourists are coming."

Working holiday.

"I'm going to Bognor next year!"

The bulb family leaves for vacation

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"

Touring Holidays - On the P***

"Are there sharks in the water?"