Sugar Swapper Gifts

'I think sugar substitutes are fattening. Have you noticed that people who use them are usually overweight?'

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

"They're healthy? All this time, Mom said carrots and raisins were nature's candy!"

Wha about trying another antivirus?

"It's something I made myself - chocolate covered veggies."

'They're building one of those new health clubs.'

Gracie's Halloween Candy Exchange.

"I'd trade, but peanut butter sticks to my tongue stud."

"To be honest, it was a matter of finding something to do after I gave up alcohol."

'I swapped the piano for Stewie's guitar.'

'I'm coping.'

"I'm ready to switch"

"I'm sorry, he's not here right now, but I could get one of his socks for you."

Many schools are going away with the traditional junk food vending machines.

'I'm doing a 'pet swap'.'

'I was arrested for stealing too many artificial sweetener packets from restaurants.'

'Why not use dental floss instead of candy floss?!'

"When I told you to change your socks... I didn't mean from one foot to another!"

'Yes, I sold my soul...but what could I do? They held all the papers!'

"Say - this electronic bourbon isn't bad."

"Don't look left or right!"

"I think the tags got switched on our presents."

"It calls for oregano, but we’ll be using rum."

'...and a boiled potato,a pinch of garlic,stirring constantly and then...'

"I don't mind ole neighbor lady borrowing a cup of sugar - just wish she would return the cups!"

'Hello. I'm Willy. Tommy and I have exchanged homes.'