Sugar Alternatives Seeker Gifts

'They're building one of those new health clubs.'

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"Too much sugar."

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

'I put the cake in the blender because I wanted a glass of cake.'

Sweet surprise.

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."

Chocs away.

"Let's just say the chocolate chip cookie diet isn't working."

'What kind of filling would you like?'

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

Secret sweetie drawer...

"They're healthy? All this time, Mom said carrots and raisins were nature's candy!"

"When I gave up cookies for the period of fasting called Lent, I thought it would be an hour, like the period of school called math."

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"I'll split my candy with you if you take me Trick or Treating."

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

'If I promise to be good for the next 30 years, can I have some sweets Dad?'

It's not an addiction if you only do it once a year!

I Bake. Deal with it.

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

'I counted them as well. . .There were four too many.'

Snowman wife to husband eating ice cream: 'Remember what the diabetes counselor said, Hal - you are what you eat.'

'She'll have a nasty sugar hangover tomorrow.'

"Would you care for a slice of lemon dribble cake Mr Dobbs?"

"You can eat all the cake you want and still get into heaven."

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

"According to this analysis, Gibbons, last year your department spent forty-five thousand dollars on candy alone."

"Ok, here's the problem right here. No candy."

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.