Sugar Substitute Snatcher T-Shirts

'I was arrested for stealing too many artificial sweetener packets from restaurants.'

World Tour.

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

Music downloads

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."

'What kind of filling would you like?'

"They're healthy? All this time, Mom said carrots and raisins were nature's candy!"

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

'If I promise to be good for the next 30 years, can I have some sweets Dad?'

The ambush.

"I'm not very scary now, but I will be if I don't get candy."

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

Plants to Avoid - Creeping Wallenda

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

'They're building one of those new health clubs.'

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.

"I'd trade, but peanut butter sticks to my tongue stud."

"I'm starting a new diet today. Let's go out for ice cream to celebrate."

Black Forest Cake

"Sorry, I had the hiccups."

"I'm worried about him - he's praying to Mrs. Butterworth."

Meat. No, I have no idea what the heck you just shoved in your mouth, I'm giving away toothpicks. Free samples.

Hey Gus, I've managed to steal some crackers and some grapes too...

"Psst... jelly doughnuts."

'I think sugar substitutes are fattening. Have you noticed that people who use them are usually overweight?'

Many schools are going away with the traditional junk food vending machines.

He wants this old dog to learn new tricks? Watch me make his sandwih disappear.

'Why not use dental floss instead of candy floss?!'

"The candy bar I bought got stuck, so Johnny tried to get it out. First he put his hand inside. . . then his arm. . . then. . ."

Murder photographs.

"No more cross buns for you!"

He was having a great time until he'd eaten so much candy he just toppled over. His Halloween night reached a tipping point.